Pooh Trek
by Stripes Pegasus
Summary: Pooh and friends are fans of Star Trek.


February 25, 1999

-Prologue-

 _I think Christopher Robin should be the captain._

 _Oh yes, I agree. - Me too! - Of course; I agree as well. - Sounds good to me._

 _Okay, okay! [Laughter.] Calm down! Who wants to be my second-in-command? Well?_

 _… Perhaps you should choose, Christopher Robin._

 _All right… I think… Pooh will be my first officer._

 _What about me, Christopher Robin?_

 _Hm… How about Tactical?_

 _Oh boy! Zap, zap, zap! Fschew! Ka-boom!_

 _Tigger, stop that! What should I do, Christopher Robin?_

 _Hmm… How about Ops, Rabbit?_

 _Ops?_

 _It stands for Operations Management. You know, power allocation, sensors, that type of thing._

 _Oh. Thank you, Owl._

 _And Owl… Science?_

 _That will suit me just fine, Christopher Robin._

 _And Gopher… You can be the Chief Engineer._

 _Yes, sir! Aye-aye, Captain!_

 _Um… What about me, Christopher Robin?_

 _Oh, Piglet… How would you like to be the pilot?_

 _Are you sure a very small animal such as myself could fly such a very large spaceship?_

 _Of course, Piglet._

 _That brings up a question: Where is our spaceship?_

 _How about this wagon?_

 _Oh, that should do splendidly…_

-1-

A daring team of brave crewmembers from the Starfleet exploration ship beamed down to the surface of the unknown world. Led by the fearless and intrepid Commander Pooh, they scouted around the immediate area. Rabbit, Owl, and Piglet fanned out in a variety of directions. Pooh himself took yet another course from the beam-down point, hindered somewhat in his progress by Tigger, who took his duties as Chief of Security very seriously and insisted on keeping himself between Pooh and any possible dangers until his keen eyes had ascertained that no visible threats were present after all.

"Commander Pooh," came the captain's voice over the comm channel from the ship to the surface, "have you found anything yet?"

"No, Christopher Ro-um, I mean, Captain," responded Pooh, "I'm afraid not."

Tigger, meanwhile, slunk alertly behind a rocky outcropping, advising Pooh that, "You never know where danger might be hidin'!" as he checked for anything that looked even remotely threatening.

"Okay, Commander Pooh. Keep me informed. I want to know the minute you find anything!"

"Aye, sir, Christopher Ro-Captain!" Pooh said smartly. Becoming aware of someone approaching, he turned to see who it was.

It was Piglet. "S-s-s-sir!" said Piglet. "I found a-"

"Oh, Piglet," Pooh interrupted warmly. "You don't have to call me 'sir.'"

"Um, yes, sir, Pooh, but I found something!"

"Oh! Why didn't you say so? Where is this something?" Pooh asked, wondering hopefully if the something might be this planet's version of honey.

"It's behind this ridge!" Piglet stated, scampering off to lead the way, with Pooh following, and Tigger bouncing along to catch up.

"Here it is," Piglet announced, indicating an area of the ground to which Pooh was not quite near enough to see clearly. Just then Tigger bounded ahead of him and blocked his path with outstretched arms, shielding him from Piglet's discovery.

"Hang on!" he warned. "It might be some'in' dangerous!" He prowled stealthily toward whatever it was in the sand, on an indirect course so as not to rouse its suspicion. Reaching it, he mistrustfully circled several times and then put his face quite near it to scrutinize it up close. He sneezed violently and declared, "It's not too dangerous. Just a little dusty."

Now that it was pronounced safe, Pooh and Piglet approached the mystery object. It consisted of two furrows in the sand, such as might be made by a child's wagon, and a sort of shallow crater in between them. Piglet gasped.

"Oh Pooh! It changed! That-that thing in the middle wasn't there before!"

Pooh gasped in surprise and shock. "Maybe it's alive," he speculated, frightened. "What do you think, Tigger?"

"It's mighty suspisherous if you ask me," Tigger said, glaring suspiciously at the unexplained phenomenon in the sand.

"Hm…" mused Pooh, tapping his head in an effort to think. He looked around and spotted Rabbit observing a tall rock formation nearby. "Rabbit," he called. "What do you make of this?"

Rabbit walked over. "What do I make of what?"

Pooh pointed to the strange markings in the sand.

"Oh," said Rabbit. He walked around the markings a couple times, studying them from several angles and perspectives. "Very unusual," he remarked, scratching his head in thought.

"And," said Pooh, "it moved."

"It moved!" repeated Rabbit. "Then it can only mean one thing."

"What one thing is that?" asked Pooh.

"Space jagulars," whispered Rabbit ominously.

-2-

Tigger, meanwhile, had crossed paths with an alien butterfly, which he was following to be sure it was not a member of any evil conspiracy headed for a secret meeting to plot against them. So intent was he on the sinister alien butterfly that he did not notice he was about to step off a small cliff overlooking a mud hole. As he reached the edge, he stopped short, hearing a rustling in the strange-colored alien foliage behind him. "Who's there?" he demanded. The only answer was another, closer rustle.

"Space jagulars!" Tigger shouted, running away. He found himself diving off the cliff into the mud-then, suddenly, he was suspended in the air over the mud hole: something had him by the tail. "Aaah!" he shouted in terror.

"Tigger, look out!" came Christopher Robin's voice.

Fortunately, whatever was holding onto Tigger's tail did not have a very good grip, and he slipped free with a little squirming and splashed into the mud hole.

"Oh no," he said, sitting up covered with mud, "the space jagulars have assimilarated Christopher Robin! I gotta warn the others!"

Tigger waded to the opposite bank of the mud hole, where there was no cliff, and began a wide circle around the last known location of the space jagulars, to reach Pooh and his other friends in order to warn them and tell them the terrible news.

However, the mud with which he was covered soon began to drip into his eyes, so that he lost his way and staggered about zombie-like, with his arms outstretched to feel for obstacles. He was quite a spectacle.

-3-

"Pooh? Weren't we supposed to tell Christopher Robin when we found something?" asked Piglet.

"Why, yes, Piglet!" said Pooh. "I forgot! Captain Christopher Robin? Are you there?"

There was no response.

"I can't seem to contact him," said Pooh. He looked worriedly around at the group. Everyone who had beamed down was gathered around Piglet's discovery with the exception of Tigger, who was nowhere to be found.

"Perhaps the ship is out of range," suggested Owl.

"Hmm," said Pooh, pondering the idea.

"What should we do, Pooh?" asked Piglet.

Pooh set about some serious thinking, but before he could arrive at a conclusion, there was a rustling in the alien foliage nearby.

"Aaah! Space jagular!" screamed everyone simultaneously, watching in horror as the thing emerged from the bushes.

"But it was only Christopher Robin beaming down to the surface of the planet.

"Have you seen Tigger?" Christopher Robin asked as they realized his identity with visible relief.

"No, I'm afraid not," said Pooh.

"I do hope the space jagulars didn't get him," commented Owl.

"Let's get back to the ship and look for him," said Christopher Robin.

-4-

Once they were assembled on the bridge of the starship, Christopher Robin explained, "Gopher and I detected that Tigger was about to fall off a cliff. We tried to beam him aboard, but he ran off."

"We'd better find him before the space jagulars do," suggested Pooh.

"My thoughts exactly. Rabbit, perform a long range scan," instructed Christopher Robin.

After a brief delay, Rabbit reported, "I have him on long range sensors. He is…over there."

"Piglet," said Christopher Robin, "set a course for Over There and engage!"

"C-c-course laid in and engaged, captain," said Piglet.

"Maximum warp!" declared Christopher Robin.

"I don't know if the neutrino inverters can handle it," Gopher warned.

"Neutrino inverters?" said Christopher Robin, trying not to laugh. And then with all seriousness, "Do your best, Gopher. We have to rescue Tigger from the space jagulars!"

"Oh dear," said Pooh as they drew near to Tigger. "It looks like the jagulars have assimah-assimilah-got him."

"Tigger!" Christopher Robin called as the ship came to a halt. "Are you okay? Have you been assimilated?"

Tigger wiped the mud out of his eyes and looked around. "Oh, no, Captain Christopher Robin. Right as rain!"

"Good," said Christopher Robin as the rest of his starship's crew sighed with relief. "Ready to beam aboard?"

Tigger nodded, which gesture was somehow communicated over the audio comm line to the ship. Once Tigger had joined the rest of the bridge crew, Christopher Robin ordered, "Set a course for Sector a million and three! Warp factor nineteen!"

"Course plotted and engaged," reported Piglet.

"Engines holding up nicely," said Gopher.

"Watch out for that black hole!" shouted Tigger, as the ship dodged around the dangerous stellar object.

"Look out for those asteroids!" Christopher Robin yelled as the ship deftly avoided that interstellar hazard as well.

"What are we going to do in Sector a million and three?" asked Pooh.

"Why, find some more weird outer-space-type things to explore!" the bold starship captain declared dramatically.

"So long as we're away from those space jagulars," said Tigger. "I was afraid they'd assimilarated you, Captain."

"Oh, Christopher Robin, you're not assimilated, are you?" asked Pooh with concern.

"Of course not," Christopher Robin laughed. "Silly old bear."


End file.
